Thursday, May 21, 2009

Day 8

Learned a lot in our discussion with Dr. Baji and Colonel Babu again last night. Dr. Baji filled us in on what has been going on in Sri Lanka. Very interesting. Apparently since the LTTE forces have been destroyed, the Tamil people will be allowed to live in peace. Many died because they were being used as human shields to protect the LTTE soldiers.

Other interesting points. The fathers of the prospective bride and groom are the ones who

decide the terms of the arraigned marriages although mother of the groom gets to scope out the groom's lodging and mother. Virtually all marriages are still arranged. It is supposed to be for life. The groom does not know the bride before the wedding day. It apparently is not unusual for a thousand people to attend the wedding. Having all this support is what helps the couple stay together over the years. (If you look at the research, it will tell you this method works far better than ours.) Divorces are virtually impossible to get so you need to get along. Supposedly many of these marriages end up with the bride and groom loving each other. (Dr. Baji gave David the scientific side of 'falling in love' and then when you get married (in the states) the marriage doesn't equal the courtship behavior and people feel cheated so they opt to leave the marriage. (I know it's a runon sentence) Google Science of Love for more info. I haven't yet, but Dr. Baji says all the facts are laid out. Wives cannot EVER call their husbands by their given name. Dr. Baji's given name is Baji. His wife calls him Dr.-Dr. He told us his mother or mother-in-law had never called the husband ANYthing. The husband must always be referred to in an oblique manner. Wives are entirely dependent on their husbands. If the husband dies, the wife must return to her family home where she is virtually useless. Which brings us to another illegal custom which still goes on. Sati. This is where the wife throws herself on the husband's burning funeral pyre. Self-immolation if that wasn't clear. It is illegal and there was something in the paper the other day about criminal charges being brought. If I'm dead, who cares about criminal charges??????????? If there are only daughters of the marriage, the preceding generation is up-a-creek in regard to who will take care of them in their old age.

The daughter, when she marries, goes to her husband's house. If there is no son for her mother and father, she must ask her husband to allow her parents to move in. Actually, she must ask her husband for anything and everything. Needless to say, the daughter's husband can refuse. Dr. Baji intends to see that his daughters have an education so they would be able to support themselves in the event the husband dies. The above situation often results in the burning death of the second female child after birth. He chose not to do that. The families around here continue to keep baby boys. They also don't require a dowry later on. The gist of the dowry conversation was that it was ridiculously expensive to marry off a daughter. Hmmmm.

The topic of today is our schedule. The light usually wakes me up, I get medicine, and go for a walk (The morning is the best time.). The Dr. wants us to walk one hour per day. I am working up to it. At 45 minutes currently. However, this morning I took the scenic route. Remember those? It's when I went the wrong way?????? Well, this wrong way lasted 75 minutes. I got lost. Everyone I asked was very helpful. Unfortunately, either I wasn't understanding what they told me or they didn't understand what I wanted. It is also noted in the travel book that people will give you directions whether they know where the place is or not. They will not own up to not knowing. Finally, after many hills and vales and huge houses (bigger than Bob's)(refer to yesterday's blog), I saw a house where "English was taught" The young man got me close enough to Tamorin that I could then find my way. Of course, all the Indians we passed (I had already passed them once.) asked him what was going on. Such is life. ok. So, we have breakfast at 8AM, more medicine, and David goes to treatment at 8:30. I go at 9:30 so it gives me time to read the newspaper. Finding about what is really going on on this side of the world is really fascinating. They have many of the same problems we have. There is usually some sort of news from the States but not much. Did get the bit about Joe Biden telling the whole world where the secret VP hideaway is. Let us pray nothing happens to Obama. Morning treatment for me at least consists of a half hour of being slathered in oil and massaged. Amazingly enough, only a couple of pimples have resulted from this. Then they use a handheld pummeler which is filled with herbs that sends heat into your skin and as deep as your bone marrow. If they would leave this pummeler on your skin more than a short time--less than a second, it will severely burn you. That's the second halfhour. Then they wash you down. Then they walk you back--sometimes holding hands with you--it's a sign that they are comfortable with you. David says the guys haven't done that with him. We have pick up and delivery complete with umbrella if the sun is shining. Next it's yoga for an hour and then lunch.

Lunch is over about 1PM, and I head for the computer to do this blog and check email. At 2:30 is my next treatment. Again pick up and delivery. They will come look for me if I am not in sight. Slathered with oil again and then massaged with weight-loss medicine. I know this all sounds like voodoo, but it's working. The second half-hour is the dripping ofwarm oil across the forehead for the whole time. Not sure if it's the forehead, the hair, or the head that is getting the treatment. (Also not sure why women rave about hot oil hair treatment. Even after two shampooings, the oil comes back into my hair by nightfall.) Then washed down with pumice. These ladies probably know more about my body than I do. Then they return me about 4PM. 4:15 is medicine. Then rest. It's been a tough day. For the first six days, I would lie down to rest/read and feel almost as if I had been drugged. Two days ago, I forced myself to get up and join in the conversations with Dr. Baji and Colonel Babu. When dinner is called at 6:30, they leave. We eat and then go to our rooms to read or David probably does internet. And that's it in a nutshell.

The internet has been saying it could not contact Blogger so I am hoping this will at least save.

Love,

Mom/Peggy/Granny

Did I tell you that Dove makes toilet tissue? I really like it better.